Introduction
Once upon a time, not so long ago, I used to go on yearly camping trips with a friend of mine called Drew. We’d spend a few days walking or cycling, maybe a bit of canoeing, and spend the evenings in a pub and the nights in a tent. These trips were regular but unplanned – if we both had a few days free we’d pack a couple of rucksacks with gear that was never quite up to the task and simply set off. Straight-forward and manly stuff. Until one year Drew thought there was something I ought to know.
I think it’s fair to say that initially I didn’t react to Dru’s news in a way that would have been approved by the commission for gender equality. Then gradually I came to see Dru as she is, far from the stereotypes usually associated with the transsexual story.
Becoming Drusilla is the story of how Drew became Dru, of what happened to our friendship, and our adventures in wildest Wales the first time we went camping as man and woman. Nothing went quite according to plan.
The Walk Photos
Becoming Drusilla Reading List
These aren’t all the books I read, but they’re the ones I found most helpful or illuminating.
Ames, Jonathan, Sexual Metamorphosis, Vintage, New York 2005
Ames, Jonathan, What’s Not to Love? Scribner, London, 2000
Ashley, April, The First Lady, John Blake, London, 2006
Angier, Natalie, Woman: An Intimate Geography, Anchor, New York, 2000
Bibby, Bob, Special Offa, Eye Books, London, 2004
Bloom, Amy, Normal, Bloomsbury, London, 2003
Boyd, Helen, My Husband Betty, Thunder’s Mouth Press, New York 2003
Bornstein, Kate, Gender Outlaw, Routledge, London, 1994
Cossey, Caroline, My Story, Faber and Faber, London, 1991
Califia, Pat, Sex Changes: The Politics of Transgenderism, Cleis Press, San Francisco, 1997
Cherry-Garrard, Apsley, The Worst Journey in the World, Pimlico, London 2003 (Constable 1922)
Cowell, Roberta, Roberta Cowell’s Story, William Heinemann, London, 1954
Ensler, Eve, The Vagina Monologues, Virago, London, 2001
Ettner, Randi, Confessions of a Gender Defender, Chicago Spectrum Press, Chicago, 1996
Finney Boylan, Jennifer, She’s Not There, Broadway Books, New York, 2003
Greene, Graham, Travels with my Aunt, Penguin, 1971
Household, Geoffrey, Rogue Male, Chatto and Windus, London, 1939
John, Brian, Pembrokeshire Coast Path, Aurum Press, 2004
Jones, John B., Offa’s Dyke Path, HMSO, London 1976
Kafka, Franz, Metamorphosis and Other Stories, Penguin, London 1961
Kay, Ernie and Kathy and Mark Richards, Offa’s Dyke Path South, Aurum Press 2004
Kay, Ernie and Kathy and Mark Richards, Offa’s Dyke Path North, Aurum Press 2004
Morris, Jan, Conundrum, Faber and Faber, London, 1974
Morris, Jan, Pleasures of a Tangled Life, Arrow, London, 1990
Morris, Jan, Wales, Penguin, London 2000
Ovid, Metamorphoses, Penguin, London, 1955
Sinclair, Iain, Landor’s Tower, Granta, London, 2001
Thomas, David, Girl, Signet, London 1995
Wells, H.G., The Invisible Man, Oxford Classics, Oxford, (1897)
Wheeler, Sara, Terra Incognita, Vintage, London 1997
Reviews
‘How big is the change from man to woman? Becoming Drusilla is a brave and intelligent book, because it is not so much an attempt to answer that question, but to strike out all the previous answers with a red pen.’
Diane Purkiss, Daily Telegraph
‘This is a gentle, wise and touching book, full of warmth, humour, friendship and humanity (though I don’t mean to be winsome: Beard doesn’t flinch over the gory details of the operations, nor, among other things, over Dru’s heroin addiction). Like the good novelist that he is, Beard has resisted the lure of a predictable transsexual ‘transformation’ narrative and the temptation to look for answers. As a result, by the end of the book, Beard – and we along wih him – has arrived at a genuine and much more subtle understanding of what his friend has been through, and what she has become.’
Nick Parker, Literary Review
‘A fascinating biography … [Beard] is an excellent communicator and excels at turning the academic knowledge into understandable sound bites … optimistic, poignant and ultimately uplifting.’
Dr Harvey Rees, Bristol Review of Books
‘Excellent … enlightening and brave … not only does he write a sensitive and subtle biography, he also deconstructs his own ideas and assumptions about himself, and what it means to be a man.’
Hot Press
‘This beautifully written and thoroughly well-researched book is Beard’s searingly honest attempt to understand what his friend had gone through … It is deliciously un-PC, unpreachy, refreshingly free of sentimentality, and, at times, drily comic.
This book’ s genius is to tackle the life of Drusilla Marland and give us a sense of her lived experience, her ordinariness as a woman, born in a particular time, under a particular set of circumstances, in a particular culture; he gently portrays her inconsistencies and foibles, her talents and weaknesses, her courage and nobility – in other words, her humanity.
Beard’s graceful admission of love and humility, at the end of this gentle tribute is touching and life-affirming. This book left me marvelling about human nature. There aren’t many of those kinds of books about.’
Dermod Moore, Irish Post
‘A wonderfully sympathetic account of how and, possibly, why Drew became Dru.’
Val Hennessy, Critic’s Choice, Daily Mail
‘A sensitive and attractive account of a renewal of friendship . . . Beard comes to realize that the extraordinary thing about his friend is just how delightfully ordinary she is.’
Roz Kaveney, Times Literary Supplement
‘Funny, touching and insightful.’
The Oldie
‘Honest and deeply thoughtful . . . [a story] gently handled by this most sensitive and, at times, very humorous book.’
reFresh magazine
‘Fascinating and funny.’
Libby Purves, Radio 4 Midweek
‘Becoming Drusilla is a remarkable story of friendship, courage and humanity. Achingly funny, bruisingly heart-rending and deeply honest and personal, the story is gracefully and humbly told and free of mawkish sentimentality.’
Irish Independent
Manly Pursuits
or
How to Beat the Australians
 
Introduction
For twenty years I’ve been watching England cricket teams humiliated by the likes of the Chappell brothers, Allan Border and Steve Waugh, Australians so gritty they order their sandwiches with sand in. There wasn’t much respite in other sports: the 53rd most populated country in the world was fourth in the medals table at the Athens Olympics, Lleyton Hewitt is a Wimbledon champion, and the Socceroos beat England 3-1 at Upton Park in 2003. And supposedly, or so the team-sheets kept telling me, these losing Englishmen were representing the nation.
In the summer of 2005, I decided I didn’t need to be represented because I, in fact, am me, so I set out for Australia on the well established priniciple that if you want something doing . . .
And took it upon myself to beat the Australians, single-handedly, in any sport they cared to mention. I ended up at the heart of the problem, as I saw it, in the Sydney suburb of Manly, where I took on Australians at lawn bowls, shooting, golf, swimming, surfing, running, spectating, betting and quiz.
Not surprisingly, with the Australians fatally undermined in their heartland sporting community of Manly, England regained the Ashes. I was not awarded an MBE.
Reviews
‘Beard has some previous form in the area of rubbish sport: his Muddied Oafs, published three years ago, is one of the funniest rugby books you will find. He retains his comic form on his Australian quest . . . Beard and his Manly pursuits clearly saved England in 2005. Where the bloody hell is he now?’
Andrew Baker, Daily Telegraph
‘I’m not sure he found what he wanted, but he had plenty of fun not finding it.’
Independent Best Sports Books for Christmas
‘Because Beard is a writer rather than a sportsman, it’s actually a fne read, combining social history with humour, travelogue with sports biog … Perfect for when we’re struggling at the MCG.’
London Evening Standard
‘Despite being written by a Pom, it’s (whisper it) a hilarious and thoughtful book.’
Time Out
‘peculiarly English . . . going to Australia to take on the locals at sports . . . Beard does this with dry humour and aplomb.’
Irish Times
‘An extremely funny part-travelogue, part-self discovery and part-investigation into how the 53rd most populous country became world beaters.’
GQ
Dry Bones
Introduction
Dry Bones is also indebted to the practise and playfulness of the OuLiPo (see previous BOOKS). However, it involves a more selective use of constraints, which this time play an explicit role in the development of the novel’s story.
Whereas THE CARTOONIST is largely concerned with notions of place, in Dry Bones I wanted to look more closely at character. Personally, I’m not much of a rounded character. I change and act up (or down) depending on all sorts of things. I’m also easily riled by reviews of novels praising the construction of consistent character above all else.
In Dry Bones, James Mason is systematically inconsistent. A deacon in the Church of England (imagine that!), he’s sent to Geneva to help with the closure of the city’s Anglican church. While trying to off-load Thomas a Becket’s toe-bone, the church’s only treasure, he discovers that relics have a life of their own. As professed in the Middle Ages, they impose the characteristics of their original owner on whoever approaches too closely.
In the spirit of self-improvement, James Mason can’t help but notice that Switzerland’s cemeteries contain the world’s most impressive collection of dead famous people.
In contact with a selection of the celebrity dead unearthed from Swiss cemeteries, from Charlie Chaplin through James Joyce to John Calvin, James Mason is soon forced to decide what kind of person he really is. And how best, in the modern world, to live.
Reviews
A device with huge comic potential, and one that Richard Beard exploits with ferocious intelligence and considerable wit . . . a rollercoaster philosophical journey of Stoppard-like brilliance.’
Glasgow Herald
‘Beard is a hugely playful novelist who thrives when making things most difficult for himself. Dry Bones is scabrous and profane, but also very human in a good way, and probably a little bit profound too.’
Independent on Sunday
The playful, witty English novel is not dead: Richard Beard’s story of a young vicar who digs for the bones of famous people in the graveyards of Geneva is lively, imaginative and entertaining.
Beard covers a lot of ground in his novel: the blandness of today’s Church; the lives of Thomas à Becket, Richard Burton, Charlie Chaplin and Elizabeth Taylor’s dogs; and the gullibility – or otherwise – of people who believe in the power of relics to intercede in their lives. Farce is never far from the surface of the writing, but farce is often employed as a cover for essential truths, and Beard knows it.
Booktrust
Switzerland’s cemeteries are bursting with celebrity bones – Jung’s knee, Chaplin’s shoulder and Calvin’s hip. Richard Burton’s leg is worth almost as much as Thomas à Becket’s toe. What is most refreshing about this crisp farce is its suave lakeside setting and cast of ingratiating Euro-clerics.
The Independent
Some gimmickry of form or plot is a great alleviator too – as in Richard Beard’s Dry Bones, about the hunt for profitable relics in present-day Genevan churches and graveyards (Thomas-à-Becket’s toe, Calvin’s bones, Richard Burton’s skull, and such) – a compellingly zany engagement in a sort of secular resurrectionism in the face of profound religious decline.
Valentine Cunningham, British Council Literature Matters magazine
Muddied Oafs
Introduction
While writing my novels, I was also playing rugby.
I started off in Scotland, and then joined the nearest club wherever I ended up living. This means that I’ve played in Paris and in Geneva, in Tokyo and also at several clubs in England, most recently with the legends of Midsomer Norton in central Somerset.
This book is basically my gesture of gratitude and enduring love to the sport of rugby union, the greatest outdoor team game on earth.
Reviews
The book rugby has been waiting for … a likeable, literate and landmark tour-de-force.
Frank Keating
‘Richard Beard’s journey to the heart of rugby captures the soul of the game. Hugely enjoyable.’
John Inverdale
‘A rich and pointed and yet loving trawl through the heroic undercard of rugby.’
Stephen Jones
‘An elegiac, fascinating and insightful book.’
Guardian
‘Nobody who enjoys both rugby and reading can fail to like this book.’
Scotland on Sunday
‘One of the year’s funniest books.’
The Independent
‘His is an enviable journey of camaraderie and sporting dreams that will resonate with all team players.’
The Economist
‘Muddied Oafs, The Last Days of Rugger, will evoke a surging response from anyone over the age of 25 . . . this is rugger in the blood, that blind love that sometimes knows no reason save that it is there and there is nothing to do about it.’
The Times
The Cartoonist
Introduction
A common objection to OuLiPian methods of construction (see X 20 and DAMASCUS), is that the constraints used to generate text are essentially arbitrary, and therefore somehow irrelevant.
Searching for an elegant means to challenge this rather dim assumption, I became interested in social constraints which determine the nature of the world in which we live. In particular, for the purposes of The Cartoonist, the way that freedom of expression is increasingly constrained by copyright and libel law.
I decided to set the story of a novel in EuroDisney©™. Daniel Travers, a young, right-minded Englander, sets out to visit the park with his firebrand social activist of a teen-age cousin, Daphne. Daphne is full of inventive ideas for sabotage.
The first version of the novel, the original story which I wanted to tell, I set entirely in the real, true-to-life theme-park, the Disneyland Paris which at that time 70 million Europeans had already visited.
For publication, I then re-wrote the novel, adhering strictly to copyright and libel laws, genuine constraints. I discovered it’s not legally possible, in the sense of freedom of expression, to set a novel (a made-up and perhaps fanciful story) in EuroDisney, even though that gated space outside Paris with its outsized characters is a location very much relevant to the way we live now.
There are therefore two versions of The Cartoonist. There’s the original, unpublishable version. And then there’s the second, published novel, as generated by the legal limitations I was constrained to observe.
This begs the question, I think, of which of the two novels is the more legitimate.
Reviews
‘The Cartoonist is a rare and wonderful thing: a storming good read, more subtle than Fight Club and packing a far harder punch.’
Big Issue
‘There’s something timeless and touching about Daniel’s longing for a real experience in a fake world.’
Guardian
‘The Cartoonist is a wonderful book – hilariously upsetting from beginning to end.’
Harry Mathews
‘Beard should be applauded for so thoroughly biting the Disney hand; at his best he is very vicious.’
List
‘The Cartoonist hones in on the dark, corporate side of Disney’s magical kingdom … high-quality, light-handed satire.’
Later
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About Me
About Richard Beard
I'm a novelist and non-fiction writer, and recently took up the post as Director of the National Academy of Writing. As time goes by I'm gradually transferring the material from the old site (stories, articles, squibs) into the categories tabbed aboved. There's information on each of my books, with summaries and reviews, and now that I'm permanently back in the country I'm available for events and readings. Email me using Contact, below right. I'll get back to you.
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