'never offer to tip the barmaid'
Since the war, at the Saint-Cyr Military College, there has been an English teacher who also prepares our young Frenchmen for their journeys to England. He takes them to one side and explains certain infinitely detailed little mores. These may seem minor, but to know them is to avoid distressing new English friends. I’ll give a brief example of the kind of thing he teaches:
‘Never forget that it’s a delicate compliment to your host not to smoke while you’re drinking his Port; it shows that you wouldn’t want to risk masking the flavours of such a rare wine with veils of smoke…
Be polite by preparing to smoke a cigar by first smoking a cigarette …
An English private soldier will be assigned to you as an orderly. Don’t make it too obvious to him that his English is hard to understand – he’s probably a miner or a metal-worker. To keep him happy talk about his job and the town where he was born …
Tips. For hotel porters, if you’re in uniform: a shilling. If you’re in civvies, sixpence …
If you go into a pub, never offer to tip the barmaid. Remember she’s a lady …
If in a castle you discover that your bedroom is haunted, wait for the master of the house to broach the subject. It’s not good form to bring a man’s attention to his own ghosts.’
You can profit from these valuable pieces of advice: they’re all spot on.